What is of the up guys, gals, and nonbinary pals! I am back once again, finally I am settling back in to writing once again consistently! Well kinda, it honestly a little bit more complicated. Let me explain and elaborate ideas and thoughts and all that fun stuff! Basically an ADHD knowledge dump of information onto the written paper. Well technically written website, but you know what I mean. So buckle up butter cups, here’s my new 5 year plan!
Ok, so as you may know by reading my blog that I utilize my ADHD in productive and creative ways. I am always focused on creating and doing stuff and being active and all that Gucci shit. At this point, I am almost done with all the stuff related to the Car Wreck I got into recently. I am so happy with that, honestly its just taken up time for me currently. Now, because of my ADHD I essentially use things as a sort of excuse to try and forego doing certain things that I have hyper focused on before. Usually this is because of burn out and feeling like I have overworked myself. Wow! Self-aware huh? Anyways, I digress; I have so many things I would like to get done now! Of course I am trying to be way to creative right now in many different areas but that just seems to be the way I operate. This past summer I was trying to solely dedicate myself to writing for Knowledge Jack in order to catch up to my personal goals. Now, being a perfectionist I have come to realize that well, being a perfectionist sometimes means you put your self in a self destructive cycle which is no bueno. So, how do I plan to try and be better about this? What am I trying to do to slow myself down and or make more realistic goals?
To put it simply, I will still have the same expectations I have for myself. This is not something we can really change because apparently once the overall expectation for myself is set by myself it is like set in stone. Shit is wack I know, however the parameters to achieve the long term expectation are something I know I can actively change as my personality is too identify problems, adapt, overcome, and evolve. So, in an effort to catch up to my “single post for everyday the blog has existed” I will be doing posts fairly often. Now, I will not be doing the batshit insane thing that I used to do wherein I would sit down for hours and hours and just write solely to try and catch up. That is how I burned myself out. So instead we will be dedicating an hour a day to writing and editing and fixing the Knowledge Jack stuff up. I will also be doing this for other projects and stuff as well. As mentioned previously somewhere on this blog, I absolutely would love to write multiple books. Now my stupid ass expectations I gave to myself and my ADHD hyper fixations have deemed the approach of “catch up on Knowledge Jack first before going and doing creative writing” is absolute bullshit. I would like to be able to publish all the fun book ideas I have sooner rather than later, because otherwise I will just continue chasing a goal and burning out, which again is no Bueno.
What other things am I doing to make this easier on myself? Scheduling! I am starting to compile a schedule wherein I understand my dedicated time frame for all the things in my life. I’m getting organized bitches! I see this as a good thing. But I also think to myself “Oh God, am I developing OCD or something?” Then I shrug and say to myself “Eh, probably. I’m not a doctor though and I need to get this shit done!” Which then results in me being an uber-productive. So be understanding my chaotic ass schedule and building in time for things I am now getting way more organized then I ever realized I would. Wild, I know. So, by making sure that I am dedicating 1 hour a day to my personal and school related projects I am enabling myself to continue chipping away at my own crazy ass expectation but also at the mountain of stone in front of me. What is the easiest way to eat an elephant? One bite at a time.
In conclusion, my dear readers (if you exist lmfao), I will be back to producing more and more stuff. Maybe even starting a Knowledge Jack live stream or something I don’t know yet. Also, please note that my filter for this stuff is a little bit looser in this post, life is short. If you can handle the words fuck and shit and damn and all that then so sorry to hear about your sensitivity. I will not always be utilizing such words but sometimes the necessity of them to properly convey my emotions means they must exist within my writing. So, as a true Boy Scout I given this advice; Always be prepared. Should be common knowledge for anyone surfing the web, but needless to say I must iterate it way too often.
Thank you for indulging me,
-Ben