Currently I am in this weird space of limbo, I wish to write at every possible moment however I find myself in need of doing more useful things. I really feel like I have been behind in my blogging endeavors, but I understand that they often are impeded by everything else going on in my life. I think I can eventually catch up to however far behind I am, but I think it will be a slow and tedious process. I think that that is ok, but I am also on the cusp of barely understanding how far outside of my reach it is. By practicing writing I think I encourage my creative thought processes and juices to go ham in my brain. However because I am focused on trying to get to the point of production levels I seem to be forgetting to increase the quality of some of my things. I suspect that I will probably need to have another writer or editor or something to assist me with my endeavors. However, I do not currently have the funds for such things. So I have been working my ass off. Currently, I have been working at this very nice job at the college and as a gardener. It is wonderful, but the gardening is tiring. Long hours in the summer sun have drained me of my creative juices. I feel the need to continue onwards with my endeavors, but if I wish to do so I am going to need to probably change my employment. So that is what has been going on with my writing endeavors, I have been working my ass off elsewhere and have been unable to catch up to my writing stuff to then be able to catch up to my book writing stuff. I see this as a challenge now, I have so many projects but I feel the need to finish a few. I am a completionist, I require completion in doing certain tasks. I have yet to actually do such for some of my larger projects. All of them seem to have big moving parts that require much smaller intricate details. God, I might be OCD on top of ADHD. Those fine intricate details are so cool, I freaking love them. But sometimes I get so lost in detail work that the bigger things for my projects get overlooked. However my attention to detail has come in handy on many different occasions. I absolutely love that it has. I feel like I stumble around through all my different projects. I need some more structure. I think the way to more structure is by creating to do lists, however I want one for my phone. All the to do lists for my phone seem to be kinda shit, so instead I am thinking about inventing my own. As you the reader can probably tell, I have many creative writers blocks currently. Most of them are inventions of my own design that I must over come. The inner machinations of my mind are the sum of all my problems. Hell that should and could be a quote on a post or something. Guess I now have an idea for another instagram post. I really wish to make creative social media, but I seem to be drop kicking myself by creating to many projects. This is an issue that I need to focus on solving. I help create Stalins five year plans for others but I think I have yet to do so for myself. Well fuck, I just identified my problem and my solution. If you will excuse me, I must endeavor now to go write and think of solutions.

Thank for you reading, sorry if I seem all over the place. I am having many different thoughts right now.

-Ben